We begin by the well of life

"When we are handfasted, as we term it, we are man and wife for a year and a day; that space gone by, each may choose another mate, or, at their pleasure, may call the priest to marry them for life; and this we call handfasting."
Sir Walter Scott, The Monastery (1820)

Handfasting is the beginning of a committment for a year and a day, after which the couple may return to the place of their ceremony and become permanently married, renew their committment for another year, or walk away from each other with strings untied.

Handfasting began before Christianity, and was an acceptable method until 1537 when the Church was required to witness marriages. Today it can be a betrothal or actual marriage.

Find the roots of these wedding traditions:
Tying the knot
Honeymoon

We are clothed by our hosts in long tunics and velvety cloaks. Chris presents me with a garland of flowers and bouquet of lilies. Our friends are given torches or branches to hold.
The rain of Irish daily ritual has ceased. It is time to begin.

Our first stop is at the Well. Water is life, and every ceremony at the Grove begins here. We are handed a horn, which we fill with water, drink from, and then return the remaining water back to the well. When we hear three blasts of a horn, Christophe leads us to the tree calendar circle, twirling a double-ended flaming staff to light our way. The music of bagpipes fills the air.

We step into the circle through an arch of honor made of living branches. I move West, Geoff East. Our friends lead us into the center when we are called. Isolde welcomes us in Irish:

Lánamhnas ar feadh bliain is lá
[Handfasting for a year and a day]

Comhcheanglaithe le chéile ar feadh saoil
[Bound together for a lifetime]

Lá, bliain, saol: trí rothai gan tús, gan deireadh
[A day, a year, a lifetime; three wheels without beginning, without end]

Na linne caite, láithreach is le teacht iontú
[The ages past, present and to come within them]

Ar gach lá, roinnt mianach, roinnt éiginnteacht, roinnt corraitheacht an chéad lá
[On each day, some of the quality, the uncertainty, the excitement of the first day]

Gaol mar ollchrann, ag éirí níos domaine, níos daingne is níos láidre le gach casadh an roth
[The relationship like a great tree, becoming deeper, more rooted and stronger with each turn of the wheel]

Gan eagla duilleoga úr is soghonta a chur amach
[Without fear to put out new and vulnerable leaves]

Fáilte roimh ár gcáirde, infheicthe is dofheicthe, ón tír, ón muir is ón spéir
[Welcome to our friends, seen and unseen, from the land, the sea and the sky]


We are then invited to receive the blessings of the trees while the music of a flute plays. Chris takes us from tree to tree around the circle through the calendar story, which is symbolic of the development of relationship.

Birch: beginnings (Beth)
Rose: protection and potential (Luis)
Ash: focus (Nuin)
Alder: shield of defense (Fearn)
Willow: enchantment (Saille)
Hawthorne: risk and self knowledge (Our friend says no Irish person will cut down a Hawthorne tree; that's where fairies live. In the middle of a farmer's field you will often see an area ploughed flat, except for one standing Hawthorne.)
Oak: strength (Duir)
Holly: sacrifice (Tinne)
Apple: life and health (Quert)
Hazel: wisdom (Coll)
Poplar: listening
Bramble: exhilaration (Muin)
Reed: flexibility and adaptation (Ngetal)
Ivy: adaptation and enthusiasm (Gort)
Elder: patience (Ruis)
Blackthorne: hope (Straif)
Yew: end and beginning
Pine: birth (Ailm)


Leaves of each tree are collected and presented to us in a small pouch. We stand again in the middle of the tree circle. Our friends call the elements from the four directions (representing the whole of life): Air, Fire, Water and Earth, and bestow wishes upon us.
Our branch-holding friends create an arch above us under which we are told to "say what is in our hearts." No memorised lines, just what we feel. We exchange tokens, rings, then our wrists are bound together with long ribbon. It is from this that 'tying the knot' comes from. Chris wishes for our love to become stronger every day.

Ar son an snaidhm seo, ceanglaítear sibh le toil saor
[By this knot they are bound by free will]

Cuing síoraí saor a cheanglaíonn bean is fear le chéile
[The eternal open knot that binds a woman and a man together]

We drink mead from a double-spouted chalice. Everyone cheers! The goblet is passed around for every guest to have a drink.

Next, we jump over the raging fire in the very center of the tree circle, and then over the broomstick our friends are holding behind it. Fire is a dramatic highlight of our ceremony, and we all run down the hill to another site, where a Celtic cross has been set up in the grass. The fire spinners light it on fire. Our friends take turns jumping over each of the four flaming arms of the cross. Someone yells, "fire... then water!" We turn to look, and then run screaming from our cheeky friends, weighed down with massive water guns. They hit their targets. It's a nice touch to remind us which century we're in. To follow with tradition, we consummate our marriage with our hands still bound.

The marriage party filters into the hay barn, where seats have been set up around a fire, guitars are coming out of their cases, and a beautiful cake is offered to us. We chop it in half with an axe, true medieval style. Around the glow of the fire, surrounded by friends, song and fun, we are happy.

To read about our 7th wedding ceremony, click here.

MEAD - A WEDDING TRADITION

Cutting the cake with an axe
MOVIE (click on above photo to view)


Photos by Peter, Justin and Mark