Friends and family

"Look to this day for it is life. Today well-lived makes every yesterday a dream of happiness, and every tomorrow a vision of hope."
Sanskrit proverb

Our final wedding. The legal one, in Canada, with our friends and family. We are excited to be sharing our experiences, but at the same time a tinge of sadness pokes me from time to time, reminding me that this is our last one! What an odd thought it must be to anyone who hasn't married eight times already. Then I remind myself, this marriage journey will last our entire lives. At this thought, butterflies flap wildly in my belly.

DAY ONE
Our wedding weekend begins with the legal bit. We have chosen the Kootenay mountains as our surroundings. Tonight's festivities will begin at Alte Liebe Restaurant (German for "old love") in Radium Hot Springs.

The marriage commissioner arrives. It is beautiful out on the balcony and we repeat our vows diligently. We are promising to the government that we will take care of each other in good and bad times. We mean what we say, but the butterflies are sleeping. We may kiss, then we must sign the legal papers. Our official certificate of marriage will come to us in the mail.

Our guests are given cards with their name on one side, and the names of the people who are to sit on their left and right. It's a challenge, but in the chaos they get to know each other's names. Our hosts are German and Japanese, so we have Bavarian-style surroundings and delicious Japanese food. We eat with chopsticks, which, like a couple, will only work when both are present.

Bellies full, we head in a car caravan half an hour southeast to Cross River Cabins, seeing a black bear along the way. We chose this place to hold our ceremony because the size was just right for our 30 guests, with a big log lodge and nine small cabins around a creek in the trees and mountains.

We sit around a fire outside, preparing a mesa burning ceremony to 'break in' our site. Geoff and I explain the tradition as we witnessed it at our Aymará ceremony in Bolivia, asking our guests to each press a leaf into the mesa, making a wish as they do it. We put sugar discs from Bolivia (symbols of happiness, togetherness, good home & prosperity) on top, with strands of colored cord as the final decoration, making it a rainbow earth-pizza. Then we place it on the fire as an offering to Pacha Mama, and watch it slowly burn. The first sips of our celebratory drinks are splashed on the ground, also an offering of thanks.

We have given certain friends and family members the job of presenting the background of the following two days' ceremonies to the others. Preparations are underway for the sangria and a surprise cake...

DAY TWO
This morning is our biggest ceremony, at sunrise to mark the beginning of a new life together. Geoff gives a blast on his yidaki for a wake-up call, while my Dad's soft tabla sounds are projected to the cabins on a p.a. system while we get ready. It has been raining, but the sky clears just in time for our firestick ceremony.

Our sister and brothers have made a circle of branches on the ground, and placed their own containers of earth, water and air, around it. We sit in the circle, as we did in Australia, and our Elders (our parents and grandparents) take turns holding the firestick and sharing their advice with us. We then take seven steps together around the fire, as in Hindu tradition (sapta padi), each step representing a blessing. My father speaks with each step:

May the couple be blessed with an abundance of food.
May the couple be strong and complement one another.
May the couple be blessed with prosperity.
May the couple be eternally happy.
May the couple be blessed with children.
May the couple live in perfect harmony.
May Kiran and Geoff always be the best of friends.

We return to the circle and Geoff puts vermilion powder (sindoor danam) on the part in my hair to symbolise my status from single to married! We feed each other Indian sweets to celebrate.

In the afternoon we begin preparing dinner. It is important to us to create a meal together that we share together. When the food has been prepared and everyone is seated, we give thanks silently while lighting the candle of the person next to us. Just before dinner is over, Geoff and I bring a tuak bowl, as in our Iban ceremony, to each guest. We pour Japanese sake into their cups as a symbol of sharing our happiness. After dinner we perform a small coffee ceremony, as we witnessed many times in Ethiopia. Then our friend Maggie presents her triple-chocolate and triple-sec cake to us, which is devoured in minutes.

Everyone moves outside for the well-wishes ceremony, like we had in Thailand. Each person takes their turn to pour water from a bamboo ladle onto our wai-ed (prayer position) hands while speaking their wishes for our future life together. Also in Thai Tradition, we ask the eldest, happily-married couple to warm our wedding bed for us, to rub off some of their good luck on us...

We move inside for an evening of entertainment. Geoff's sister and brother, Erika and Trevor, play guitar and flute and sing. Later Geoff joins them. My Dad plays the tablas, and everyone joins in with djembes and aboriginal clapping sticks. With the cool air beckoning outside, the 'kids' jump into the hot tub, keeping the music going and the drinks flowing.

When Geoff and I return to our cabin, we find that the Ellises have warmed our bed, exchanged the two pillows for one, and placed wildflowers on it.